You Say Hoosier Like It's a Bad Thing

hoosier: n. any awkward, unsophisticated person, especially a rustic.

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I'm not sure if this is always true; but here in St Louis, you aren't a redneck, you're a hoosier. And we don't mean a person from Indiana. That's Hoosier, with a capital H.

I never claimed to be elegant and sophisticated. I enjoy a disgusting fast food hamburger as much as a nice dinner at the Melting Pot.

Okay. That's not entirely true. I enjoy the Melting Pot far more; however, there are days when only a Steakburger from Stack 'n Shack will satisfy. And I draw the line at White Castle. I will never ever eat there again after they gave me cheese fries when I asked for a Sprite. No lie. And it was gross.

But the day I realized I might be a bit of a hoosier was when we put the plastic over our windows.

The joy of living in a hundred-year old house - in addition to the fact that it leans slightly to one side - is the complete lack of insulation. Seriously. Put your hand against one of the walls and you can feel how cold it is outside. Oh and the rehabbers who did such a wonderful job (sarcasm) also didn't put up double-paned windows, they stuck with the cheap and single-paned job that has probably been up for many many years. Um, hi. We live in a city which reaches the single digits in the winter and the triple digits in the summer, are you idiots?

Well, we haven't been able to replace them yet because there were more pressing concerns - ie the cracked joists in our roof and the crumbling chimneys - but we had to come up with some sort of temporary solution so we didn't freeze in the winter or run up a ridiculous electric bill. Hence the plastic sheets. They work. Really. Unfortunately, our basement/bedroom window was too cold to adhere directly to the window itself, so it is attached to the wall. Also, unfortunately, I have dumb cats. Who tried to jump up there and punched a hole in the plastic. Did we put up a new sheet? No, we fixed it with duct tape.

Okay, maybe when we fixed it with duct tape did I realize we were a hoosiers. But that's not a bad thing. And at least Brian doesn't mow the lawn in nothing but a wife beater and jorts like our neighbor. Now that's hoosier.

Trivia Nights are Serious Business

I have never been a social butterfly. Do people still use that term? I prefer a quiet night in with a book and my husband, snuggling in bed. Or sipping a glass of wine and watching a movie. I used to go out more. Not just before the baby was born, it has been several years. Going out after a long shift at [redacted] was just what we did. Myself and the other servers would go to Growlers and drink beer or go to Houlihan's (classy, eh?) and have martinis. But then I got married. My close friends who I worked with there moved away and I didn't much feel like going out without them. Then I changed jobs and was up at 3:45 in the morning four or five days a week and on the days when I didn't have to get up early the next morning I was too exhausted to do anything else.

Hell must have frozen over because I had not one, not two, but three things planned for this weekend.

Friday evening, my friend Desiree invited me out for dinner and drinks at the Scottish Arms since she had an online friend (see it can be done!) visiting from out of town. Husband stayed home with baby and I went out hoping to have a good time. Which I did. Black and Tans make everything better. And so do pasties (and by pasties, I don't mean the things strippers wear to cover their nipples). Afterwards, we headed out to the City Museum. I apologize to my non-St Louis readers that I didn't bring my camera so you all could know what I'm talking about, but think giant playground. Somewhere in one of the tunnels when my knees started hurting, I realized that I'm getting far too old for this. It's fun and there is booze (although I didn't have any this time) but the next several days when your shins and elbows are entirely bruises it's hard to remember how fun it was.

Of course, when Momma's away, baby is cranky. She woke up four times Friday night, so in addition to being sore and slightly headachy from the two drinks I had the night before, I was also exhausted. But Saturday means Knitty Knerds day! Myself and my old lady young and hip knitting friends gather and work on our various projects of the yarn variety. I finally finished my Christmas presents this week. And only two months late! We also enjoyed the wonderfully terribleness that is Ella Enchanted. That's right, I like cheesy chick flicks. Anyone have a problem with that?

Saturday evening was event number three. I told you there were three things! My friend's fiancé was turing 32, that old man, so she arranged a surprise for him which was a whole group of us going to a trivia night at the Botanical Gardens. Now, I don't know about other parts of the country, but here in St Louis, trivia nights are serious business. Everyone is super competitive and usually everyone goes all out bringing their own food and wine. (Because of a contract the gardens have with a catering company, outside food was not allowed, but a delicious buffet and Schlafly beer was provided.) I am convinced that the table that won was a bunch of cheaters since they got way too many questions right considering how hard some of them were, but we came in a respectable fifth out of twenty. Not too shabby. Plus there were mustaches:

That is my dear friend Meredith's husband. I hope he doesn't mind that I posted this picture for all of the internet to see.

Technically I had a fourth thing planned for Sunday - going to see Shutter Island - but I was so exhausted I could barely move yesterday. I didn't manage to be upright for more than fifteen minutes at a time until about 5:30 that evening. Despite the tiredness and the still massively bruised body parts, I had a really great time and I hope the awesomeness will extend to this week. I would really like to make it through one week that doesn't suck total ass.

An Open Letter to the People of St Louis

Dear St Louis,

I loathe despise hate have generally negative feelings about you. Well. Not you. I like you as a city. You have such wonderful institutions like Companion and the Cupcakery and Mississippi Mud. My library is in an awesome old building and not old in that built in the 70's way. And then there's those Cardinals. I can even look past your pathetic excuse for a public transportation system. But there's just something about you.

1) You have a complete disregard for traffic laws

Now, I have never claimed to be the best driver on the planet and I do speed and, occasionally, I will run a yellow light. But you seem to believe that 70 is not fast enough when the speed limit is 55. Or that 55 is not fast enough when there is still ice on the roads. You tailgate instead of passing until you can't take it anymore and then you'll whip around and cut people off. Or you'll cut people off because you didn't see the three signs for your off-ramp and have to triple lane change to make it. You run red lights. Like really run them. Not just it was yellow and then it turned red while you were in the intersection but it was red and the two cars in front of you also ran the light.

2) You think the street is a parking lot.

As in, instead of pulling over to the side of the road to drop someone off or wait to pick someone up, you just stop in the middle of the street. Frequently even if there is a space not ten feet away. And then when you see another car pulling up behind you, instead of moving you continue to have an argument with your baby mama in the middle of the street. You pull up at a stop sign and someone will run up to your car (probably to make a drug deal) and you completely disregard the fact that there is someone behind you at the stop sign. Now, I recognize it may seem like we're in the suburbs because its mostly residences, but we're not. This is still the city and the streets are too narrow for you to do that.

3) You honk your car horns too much.

Instead of getting out of the car and going up to someone's house, you honk your horn. Repeatedly. Over a several minute period. Did you ever thank that perhaps they weren't home or didn't know it was them you were honking for? Perhaps you should just knock on their door.

4) You have arguments in the middle of the street.

Sometimes late at night. Like 3 in the morning late. Much like your car honking, is it really necessary to do this outside on your front porch or in the street? Wouldn't it be better to go inside and fight with your baby mama.

5) You think it's okay to blast your car stereo late into the night while your friends hang out in their front yard smoking weed.

I've told you this before. But not everyone likes rap music and not everyone wants it blasted at them from a car that is parked less than twenty feet from their house. And we especially don't like it when you do it until midnight or later. And I can smell your weed. Seriously. Go inside and do that.

6) You invented Imo's.

Seriously. That is the most disgusting pizza on the face of the planet. It is a sin against nature. Why would you do such a thing?

So I hope you'll understand St Louis that I can only ever consider myself a temporary resident. I don't think it's wise for us to pursue a long term relationship since you and I both know I will always be on the look out for something better. I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship.

Love,

Me

I've Got That Itch...

No. Not that kind. The itch to move again. I love my house. I really do. Unfortunately, I think it has almost reached the point where - without some major remodeling - it's just not going to work for our little family anymore. It has one bedroom. One! In the middle of the house with no doors. Which is why our bedroom is actually in the basement. A few years ago, when we were looking to buy our first house, we looked at a converted duplex that, at the time, was out of our price range. Guess what? It's on the market again for a mere $24,000. I wonder what kind of horrible damage has been done to the interior in the last four years (there are no pictures of the inside on the website). But if it's not too bad, perhaps it would be worth it to move. Then we would have a bedroom with a door and a bedroom for Lorelei. Want to see it, then click here.

I've definitely got that itch.

Snow Day

I miss snow days. I miss the anticipation - watching the news channel to see if maybe, just maybe, my school would be among the ones closed. Then, after a blissful extra couple hours of sleep, my mother would awaken me. We would have bacon and eggs and biscuits. You know, the things we would only eat on the weekend because there was just no time in the morning. I would pull on my snow pants - you know, the oh-so-attractive overalls - and about five layers of shirts and long underwear and huge ski gloves. I would meet my friends Lily and Rachel (we all lived within walking distance of one another) and we would make snowmen or get into a snowball fight with our brothers. Building a fort. Maybe, if it was a really good snow, we would take trash bags and go sledding down the hill by Lily's house. This was before they added the new development. Usually, one of us would end up in a ditch but we still did it. And then, after we had worn ourselves out and every piece of clothing was soaked through we would curl up on the couch at one of our houses (usually Lily's because they were wealthy and had a bigger house) and one of our mom's would make us hot chocolate with extra marshmallows and we would watch Disney movies. I miss snow days.

Today, we had an unofficial snow day in our house since Brian's boss told them not to come in if the weather was bad. We snuggled at home. Had pancakes and drank coffee. Didn't get dressed until almost noon. Baby and I snuggled in bed all afternoon and Brian worked on his laptop. It was glorious. But I can't wait until I get to purchase snow pants for my own daughter and her and her friends get to build snowmen and get into snowball fights and ride trash bags down a hill. And I'll be the mom who waits at home with hot chocolate and extra marshmallows, cookies and Disney movies.

Dear St Louis Weather

You and I used to have an okay relationship. Sure, I whined when it was 100 degrees outside and I had to walk half a mile from my parking spot to work in air that was basically soup. Or when I had to walk to finals in several inches of snow and below freezing wind chill. But, I thought we had an understanding. This summer, you were so pleasant for the majority of the time. I got to laugh at all the people I knew back home who were sweltering in their 100-plus heat for a week with no air-conditioning because it's never that hot in Washington. When Lorelei was born in November, instead of being cold and snowy, you were mild and sunny. And then you graced daughter's first Christmas with snow. That was nice. What happened? Why did you decide to all of a sudden bitch slap me with highs in the low teens? What have I ever done to deserve this? I think my toes are permanently frozen from my trip to the dentist yesterday. If you are going to be this cold, could you at least snow some so there is something pretty to look at and play in. I mean, I don't have anywhere to be, so being stuck inside is cool with me.

Well, consider this relationship over. St Louis weather: I hate you.

Love,

Me

Things and Stuff

Today I have accomplished the following things:

• Finished the Washington Post crossword (with minimal hints) at 3:30 am.
• Had biscuits and coffee.
• Took a shower.
• Also, straightened my hair, brushed my teeth, washed my face and put on makeup. How the hell did this happen?

Today I need to do the following:

• Fold laundry. Also put away the dirty laundry that has accumulated in random places around the house.
• Knit. Still have two half finished Christmas presents which need to get done.
• Clean the kitchen.
• Bake cookies with Desiree!
• Relax.

Now that I've bored you all with my to do list...

It has been awhile since I last posted and even longer since I posted something that didn't have anything to do with football. Life goes on. Baby eats and sleeps and poops. She has also developed a slight cold thanks to my inability to go one Christmas season without getting sick. Go me! It is possibly one of the most pathetic and adorable things ever. She snores in such a ridiculously cute way! Fortunately, it's nothing serious - trust me, I obsessively check her temperature and she has yet to get a fever - and although she sleeps a little more than usual, she's still eating plenty and doesn't seem too uncomfortable.

Now that I've bored you with baby gushing...

I am in love with the Botanical Gardens. Yes. Even in the dead of winter. I could spend hours taking pictures of every plant in the Linnean House. Easily my favorite part of the gardens (except for the rose garden, but everything is dead right now). It is generally very quiet - not a lot of people go in there - and it smells delicious. Every time we go, I think its all the tea trees that smell that way but as it turns out, it's actually the olive trees. Weird that I like the smell of olive trees when olives themselves make me want to gag. If it hadn't snowed last night - not that I'm complaining, I love the snow - I would totally be there this morning enjoying my free admission before noon. Anyhoodle, a couple of pictures to round out this mish mash of randomness:

Dying roses and snow covered garden

Whee! I like model trains Daddy!

City Garden

In an effort to become more like a real city and attract people to the downtown area, St Louis has completed a green space project. It has fountains and crazy sculptures you can climb on. All that good stuff. Plus its great for pictures.



I foresee many more trips out there in the near future.

It's Too Hot

Sunday Brian and I went to the drag boat races at Creve Coeur Lake. It was full of hoosiers.



This is both incredibly patriotic and incredibly unpatriotic at the same time. Anywho. It was about 100 degrees outside and despite the fact that I guzzled Gatorade like it was going out of style, I felt horribly sick the next day. Oh well. Got some great pictures for my class.





Actually, Brian took the second one, but the colors are really nice, aren't they?

Just a comment

While I am in general very pleased with the way the election went I want to just say how disappointed I am in the county for defeating Proposition M. I find it incredibly selfish of many county residents who have said they didn't want to vote for it because they didn't want to have to pay for a service that they don't use. Some of their other reasonings were that Metro is mismanaged and the shouldn't need the extra money (I don't know about this because I haven't done the research).

Here's a plan to keep Metro afloat. Just cut off all bus routes west of I-170 (they can keep the metrolink service to the airport) and just let the people over there rot without their public transportation.

Since when did St Louis stop being an actual city? Real cities have public transportation. Hell, even Vancouver has a decent bus system. This is just sad.

Reasons for current state of inebriation:

1. Soulard Oktoberfest
2. Karaoke
3. Really large beers

Oh jeez.

Life

So. I haven't really written anything of substance in ages. Life goes on. Work sucks big time. But I have proven how invaluable I am to them and unexpectedly got a raise before I should have. Unfortunately, I still have to work opens four or five times a week which is draining on my personal relationships not to mention my health. In the past few months I have been applying for new jobs but for whatever reason have only managed to get one interview. It went really well but its for a part-time only position that would be paying the same amount (or slightly less) than what I'm making now and I'm not sure I can afford to take it if I do get it.

Oh well.

I finally have my weekends to myself which has been nice. Brian and I went to the Soulard farmer's market a couple weeks ago. It was a gorgeous day and we got some really good stuff that we used to make gumbo.

I dyed my hair. I'm a brunette now which I am loving.

Rory and Kate moved away to Oregon last month and although I didn't see them that often when they did live here (damn my crappy schedule!), I'm really missing them but I've been putting off buying plane tickets to go out there and visit them (and also my parents) because I don't know if I can really afford it and I'm waiting to here about this job and if I get it I probably won't be able to take time off. Sigh.

This post is kind of a downer so I'm goint to end it here.

Spontaneous Us

Lots of super-fun things have been going on this past month. Like our impromptu trip to Turtle Park. It was a gorgeous evening right around sunset and the weather was perfect. When you get to be old married people like we are (sarcasm), it can be hard to remember the simple pleasure of hanging out in the park. And this one has giant stone turtles you can climb on. Or in (see visual proof).

We also decided on a whim to get a hotel room (get your minds out of the gutter) for the night at Lumiere Place, the new casino in downtown St Louis. It was a really quiet Monday night so it felt like we were the only people staying in the hotel and the restaurants and bars in the casino were also pretty empty. The room was nice and I got the best nights sleep ever...the bed was so comfy.

Now a lot of people think the building is really ugly. And at night it can be (sorry I don't have any pictures) because it has this band of LED lights around the outside (in the daylight picture its that brownish red strip) which, at least the night we were there, were white and it stuck out and looked terrible. But during the day I think it looks just fine. Anywho...I'm feeling a bit rambly so I'll have to continue the story of our super awesome month of May later.