The Rules of Logos are Simple and Finite...

...any Cosmo girl would know!

That's right, Elle Woods is the inspiration for the quote bragging about me getting a 10-6 record last week on my NFL picks - including the surprising upset loss by the Green Bay Packers to the perennial suckfest that is the Cincinnati Bengals. Are the Cincinnati Bengals? Be? Am?

Whatever. Grammar is hard. On to the picks!

WAS at DET: Eurgh. Both teams suck (the Redskins beat the Rams entirely on field goals last week!), but the Redskins' logo is slightly better. Redskins.
GB at STL: The Packer logo is spectacularly worse than the Rams' is, but even I know better than to bet on the Rams. Packers.

An aside: Jason LaRue is obviously white trash, but at least he doesn't have a mullet - his hair is the same length all the way around.

SFO at MIN: I just hate Brett Favre when he wins, but the logos don't lie. Vikings.
ATL at NE: You know what? I LIKE the Patriots' logo - it looks like a flying Elvis! Patriots.
TEN at NYJ: The Titan logo is, for all intents and purposes, a thumbtack that looks like it's on fire. Plus, I can't in good conscience pick the Jets, having been crippled by having their quarterback Chad Pennington as my fantasy football team starter for so long, even when he sucked (he's with the Dolphins now, and is apparently much better). Titans.
KC at PHI: It's the Chiefs. Even if Donovan McNabb doesn't play, it's the Chiefs. Eagles.
NYG at TB: Even though the Giants' logo is lame, it's a classy kind of lame. Plus, I like blue! Giants.
CLE at BAL: Hahahahahahahahahah! Ravens
JAX at HOU: Houston did win last week, and I picked them to win, like a crazy person. I'm picking them again, just for funzies. Plus, their logo is like the flag of Texas, and if you don't like the Texas flag, you're a terrorist! Texans.
NO at BUF: Hahahahahahahahahah! Saints.
CHI at SEA: Seattle's going to be wearing their hideous sea foam green uniforms. Green shirts, green pants, light-green piping. Ewwww. Plus, ask me sometime about high school and all the douchebags in their Seahawks windbreakers. They may have a better logo, but the terrible outfits cancel those out. Bears.
PIT at CIN: I like the leaping gay cat logo, and the fact that there's a player named "Ochocinco" (yes, "eight-five") on the roster. Bengals in a HUGE upset.
DEN at OAK: Stylized horse > pirate dude. Broncos.
MIA at SDG: The Chargers may be overrated, but again, Dolphins can't run on land, and don't even have hands - how can they catch a forward pass? Chargers.
IND at ARI: Kurt Warner is so sexy, in that old man who's not a total douchebag like Brett Favre kind of way. Cardinals.
CAR at DAL: The Panthers have a better logo, but they're so terrible, the logo can't help. Cowboys.




By the way, Brian is bragging about his 12-4 record last week in his picks league. But he's such a dork he joined a picks league, so what does he know?